Many people don't recognise imposter syndrome in themselves. It settles in when they aren't looking.
Certain situations are more likely to bring it to the forefront.
Stress is its best friend.
Imagine you have to make that pitch or presentation. You have it planned, written, practised, and before long you are comparing yourself to others.
Negatively.
What runs through our head is, I'm not good enough,' and the anxiety and self-doubt get hold.
Psychology Today defines imposter syndrome as 'a pattern of behaviour where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalised fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite evidence of accomplishments, people with imposter syndrome are convinced that they don’t deserve the success they have.
Imposter syndrome also occurs in personal relationships and affects both men and women. Reportedly, Prince Charles did not feel good enough for his parents. Parents who withdraw their presence or affection leave a child feeling unloved and unworthy, and it can affect their adult relationships.
However, when imposter syndrome shows up, it can limit your life and your opportunities for happiness and success.
1. Learn to spot it. Our negative thoughts whisper, "Are you sure you can do this?" So, catch that thought when you have self-doubt. Can't I do this? Consider why you were asked to perform/take on the job/speak in public in the first place.
Who approached you and why? The evidence of your ability may be in the request. Then list 3 aspects on which you feel weaker and an action to manage each of these. For instance, you can build a clear, strong voice by rehearsing on Zoom or with family members, friends, or colleagues.
2. Accept yourself. True, you don't know everything in the universe, but you may well know enough. Self-doubt can actually be very helpful. It can stop you from feeling overconfident and glib, which can come across as arrogant. It's helpful to see it as your risk manager suggesting you tighten up a few areas, or learn a little more about your audience or task through dialogue or meaningful questions.
3. Listen outwardly as well as inwardly. Your managers, mentors, and colleagues will have vouched for you, and your friends will have been there for you. In fact, your life is a testimony to your achievements. The inner voice may need reminding, so write down an alternative version.
I can achieve this because I am [….........]
I know my [….........]
My purpose is to [....................]
Insert the words that represent your truth.
Then give it your all, as my client Oonagh in the NHS did:
''I needed leadership coaching to help me prepare for a demanding interview for a senior role I really wanted. I knew I would be able to undertake the new role, but the interview process is something I always found very stressful. What worked for me was that I articulated more clearly my answers for the questions I might be asked, unpacking them to show greater insight.I also appreciated the techniques used to keep me calm and confident on the day. I was delighted to succeed at the interview, and I am really pleased I made the decision to take up executive coaching.''